Angels Can Be DoucheBags
Ok so I stole the title from Mark Stavish but I share the sentiment. Angels can be douchebags. Fortunately, they don’t have egos or personalities the way we do so they won’t be offended at my saying so. Why are they douchebags? Well, my friend, I am glad you asked!
Angels are the hands, eyes, and ears of the All-mind, or God if you want, and they only care about one thing. Evolution. Humanity has reached a point in its evolution where it is now time to start evolving our consciousness consciously. After a certain point in human development, you have to choose to evolve or stay the same. You don’t have to awaken your higher chakras, expand your consciousness, meditate, do magick, or really do much of anything outside of the pre-programmed loop you were given as a result of your childhood. I have met people who are in their 60s or 70s who still act like petulant children and have never even once stepped outside of their subconsciously driven loops. Like the salamander, we have the option of never evolving into our final form, and many people never even realize that change is possible, or even an option.
Some people are born into situations that program them for success and others are born into families that teach them they are worthless burdens who should have never existed in the first place. The latter tend to be most likely to choose to evolve beyond their bounds but it is not guaranteed. Personally, I came to a point in my life where I decided that I was either going to break the painful cycle of failure and misery or I was going to kill myself. Eventually, I stumbled on to Kabbalistic High Magick through a book called “Kabbalah Magick and the Great Work of Self Transformation.”
High magick, or magick which calls upon the higher planes of existence, is like asking the divine to help you accelerate your spiritual evolution so you can accomplish in a few years what would normally take multiple lifetimes. The course in the above-mentioned book takes you through a long and rigorous initiation process that is meant to help you undo the conditioning of your childhood and break free of your unconscious programming while also teaching you about the mechanism of the universe. Unfortunately, dissolving the survival-based ego that we develop to survive the conditions of our childhood is an excruciatingly painful process, at least it has been for me.
The divine angelic intelligencia are pretty detached from what we would consider a normal perspective. They have little to no sympathy for our egoic desires for comfort, praise, admiration, and desire for superiority over other humans. This is exactly what makes angels seem like such assholes. They will make you face the deepest and darkest aspects of your psyche in a very direct manner. They seem to challenge you in ways that push the boundaries of what you can handle. God’s love doesn’t always feel like love, it can feel more like the universe is coming up with a custom-tailored way to fuck with you and make life difficult.
Angels are the most intelligent and highly evolved beings in all of creation but they have never been human. We are like the prodigal son who leaves his father’s home while angels are like the brother who never left and remained in their original state of innocence. While they will indeed help you ‘return home, so to speak, they don’t really see things the way we do and they will put you on a one-way track to the dissolution of your false sense of self. You can kick and scream and call them names all you want but it will do you no good. If you want to mess around with rituals that call upon the primordial powers of the cosmos, be ready to go on a long and difficult journey.
The upside is that if you actually survive the gauntlet and manage to not go insane, you gain access to the same power that moves the planets in their orbits. You can direct these elemental, planetary, and sephirotic energies and then ride the waves like a surfer in the ocean. Instead of forcing life to bend to your will, you gently ask the mind of nature to shape the world around you in specific ways. To the people around you, you will look like a crazy person with bizarre luck. You just wait and be present and never go out of your way to make things happen, you just do the magick and let life do its thing and it will present you with what you need to do when you need to do it. The ego can’t handle a life like this, it will fight to the bitter end to try to bend the world to its will and pat itself on the back for a job well done.
What most people call ‘control’ is actually just their pre-programmed loop playing out. Life presents them with ideas and opportunities to take action and when things work out they think they ‘made’ it happen. They don’t realize that it is their subconscious that influences their reality and makes the world appear to work in their favor. A person whose early childhood programmed them to feel special, worthy, and superior to other humans will routinely find themselves in positions that reinforce those beliefs. The opposite is also true, people made to believe they are worthless and inferior will constantly find themselves in positions that make them feel worthless and inferior. Both are manifesting their unconscious beliefs and then taking credit for it when things go right or in the case of the negatively programmed person, they will blame themselves when things go wrong and avoid taking credit when things happen in their favor.
There are several ways to undo your conditioning and break out of these pre-prescribed loops but for a westernized mind, high magick seems to be the fastest but it is also a brutal and painful path. It’s meant for people who feel they have to do it. If you have a vague interest in high magick and wonder if it’s right for you, it probably isn’t. If High magick is the right path for you, you will know and there will be little anyone can do to stop you. If it isn’t a matter of life or death for you, you probably won’t have the wear with all to finish the process, and quitting halfway through is worse than not starting at all.
Initiation into high magick, at least through the method described in the book I mentioned above, is meant to make you something like a zen master who works along with the flow of life instead of against it. Once the process takes on a certain momentum, there is no stopping it. Swimming against a raging current is only going to tire you out until you finally give up and go with the flow, assuming you don’t drown in the process.
It may seem unfair that some people are just born to win and others are just born to lose, but consider what many of the so-called ‘winners’ are actually doing. Many of these people spend their entire lives working hard to stave off what might happen if they just relax and let go. They fear the flow of life more than anything and must maintain a sense of control at all costs. They too have emotional wounds and struggles but they also have the means and resources to avoid facing them. They may stumble into success and have the ability to fulfill their desires but they are haunted by a constant sense of fear running in the background. All that would happen if they let go is they would have to face their fears, they would begin to manifest situations that mirror their repressed wounds and emotions.
This is what life does. When you stop trying to control things you are brought face to face with your default manifestations. We are all doing magick in every single moment as our unconscious beliefs shape the foundation of our personal expereince of reality. If you stop going to the job you hate but end up homeless, its only because there are some things within you that you need to face that can only be done in a state of homelessness. A person with a healthy subconscious foundation of beliefs will simply stumble into something more appropriate for them and going to work will no longer feel like something you have to do in order to stave off tragedy. Anything that you feel like you “have to do or else…” is something you are doing to avoid facing a fear and if you dont do that thing you will come face to face with that fear. When you let go of that fear things begin to flow for you again and synchronicity will guide you along.
The only way out of the cycle is to face your fears and become conscious of what was once unconscious. Angels can help you do this but don’t expect them to be gentle. Like Carl Jung said “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will control your life and you will call it fate”.
